When working in real estate, you never know what a day will bring. I’ve been known to experience satisfaction, frustration, joy and anger, all in one day. But the best interactions are the ones that make you laugh out loud.

In cleaning out some folders on my laptop, I ran across this gem. It’s a clip from an email conversation I had with a client a couple years ago.

By law, unused underground fuel tanks need to be tested and removed before a real estate transaction can close. This law applied to this seller’s property but the process was being complicated by the fact that it was the dead of winter and the ground had several feet of frost. The seller was at the end of her rope and I got the following email:

My suggestion for getting this ‘DGT’ thing over with:
1. Light a match.
2. Throw it in the tank filler tube hole.
3. Stand back.

Benefits:
1. The gas would be drained off.
2. The ice would melt.
3. The tank would melt and/or be blown to smithereens and/or hell.
4. Inspectors would be too afraid to assess the site, for fear [we] would do something similar to their vehicle.
5. The [buyer] would have an in-ground swimming pool instead of the plastic one by the little pink house.

Down-sides:
1. We would have to gather more rocks for the stone-wall, because it would become only a pile of gravel.
2. We would, most likely, have to replace the living room before closing.
3. The incident would probably scare off prospective buyers of the property, or get the attention of prospective buyers who are terrorists.

Fortunately, I never had to deal with prospective buyers who appeared to be terrorists. We were able to find a contractor to dig up the tank and the inspector found no issues so “Plan B” wasn’t needed.

The lesson for the day: if your real estate transaction is giving you fits, blow off steam in an email instead of blowing up your property.

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